A boundary is a line or space between two things. If we look from people’s perspective, it refers to the space that two people give each other. A healthy boundary is important to maintain proper physical and emotional health. People live in co-dependency and that is why they struggle to maintain the relations because sometimes, they maintain too much space and sometimes they do not maintain space at all.
It is very important to maintain healthy boundaries in a relationship because everyone is an individual first and thus, different. People often do not understand this concept thereby jeopardising their relationship. A few examples of unhealthy boundaries are, wife going through her husband’s messages, a husband checking in on her wife every hour, a couple not confronting each other about the growing distance between them, etc.
All such things are toxic for a relationship. So here are a few things that you can start with, for maintaining a proper healthy relationship.
1. Say ‘no’ without guilt
Do not feel guilty for saying no to your partner for something. There must be enough understanding between you two that if one is saying no to something then it means that they are not comfortable in doing it or they just might not like it.
2. Ask for what you need
If there is something you need then you must be able to speak up about it. Do not stay quiet and wait for your partner to realise that you need something, just say it. Build up an understanding that lets you open up about your needs and wants.
3. Take care of ‘you’
If you do not take care of yourself then you will not be able to take care of anyone else. Being happy is very important to be able to keep others happy. So take care of yourself too, do not over pressurise yourself over taking care of your partner so much that you forget about your own needs. You can have that last bite you wanted instead of giving it to them all the time, you can also make your own favourite dish once in a while, there is no harm in loving yourself too.
4. Respect your values
Do not do things that your values do not allow just because your partner wants you to do them. A healthy boundary would mean respecting each other’s values and morals and not forcing them into anything they do not agree with.
5. Being treated as equal
It is one of the most important thing for a healthy relationship, being treated as equal to your partner. Whether you are a housewife or a working one, you are life partner of your husband and must be treated that way. Being a housewife does not mean that you do less of a work. Or if you want to work, then you must be able to because it is your wish and your life after all. Give priority to things in your relationship but do not let anyone undermine you.
Following these things to start with, will help you maintain healthy boundaries in your relationship. You will feel more positive and energised. Being in tune with one’s own feelings is important for healthy mind and soul. Doing all this might take a bit more of time and efforts but the results will make you happy.