‘Beauty lies in the eyes of beholder’, we read these lines everyday at schools, in novels and magazines but do we really understand the meaning of such things?
I will tell you the real meaning of beauty, the real meaning of being a feminist!
I live in a country where being a women is a curse and add to that the ultimate sin of being fat! You cannot imagine the horror that the friends and family feels in being associated with a fat girl! Every time when you sit with your family for a chat it is like you have come to mourn for your own death or rather your total existence! Why? Because you are fat and nobody will marry a fat girl.
Let me ask you… Has anyone ever said, ‘you won’t get married because you are tall!’
Ok lets try again! Has anyone ever said, ‘you won’t get married because you are fair!’
Then why can a fat girl not get married?
We have made this word ‘fat’ a ‘bad’ word, an ugly word to define someone.
You automatically tell yourself or to others that no you are not fat! Why because for you and for all fat is a bad word.
Why don’t you tell others that no you are not tall or fair? Because they are not the ugly words.
Well if you are fat, use this word to define who you are because being fat is not a sin or a crime, it doesn’t make you ugly in any sense rather it gives you more of an emotional competence and makes you normal.
Let me ask something else which would be much more apt, Why is it that for a girl special in India, getting married is like the purpose of her life? Yes it is a big step and necessary too but it is not the ultimate aim! We too have career goals, goals that are not related to getting married. And being ‘fat’ should not be a hindrance on the way of achieving those goals!
Being slim is good but being fit is what should be your aim, some people are simply not genetically designed to be slim but they are fit as hell!
So yes, for a girl who is fat(or not), getting married is not the purpose of life!
Now lets talk about feminism, people have this misconception that being a feminist is trying to be at par with man or trying to be like a man. No, it is something totally different!
Feminism is not about hating men or proving women are superior to men it is only about wanting to be treated with respect for who you are, being accepted for what you are and most of all loving and being loved for who you are.
Women do not want to be like man, they just want to be treated with equal respect, why does she always has to be sister or mother or a wife, why can she not be a women, just a women?
When a woman goes out with her husband in some social gathering, her husband is asked about his work, but she? She is being asked about her husband and not her work not her well being.
The fact that a women is emotional and men are more logical is apt and scientifically proven but what is not proven is how is this fact valid enough to belittle women! Feminism is about letting women be who they are and not treating them in a different manner. Of course there are going to be differences but the point is if a women wants to work, let her work, if she wants to stay at home, let her stay, if she is fat, it is okay! And if she is saying something, give her due importance and respect her opinions!
Now combine the two issues discussed above.
If you still did not get the point, then I would just ask three questions:
Why do ‘fat’ men body shame women for being ‘fat’?
Why can a ‘fat’ man be married to a ‘slim’ woman but not the other way round?
Can a ‘fat’ woman be ‘beautiful’?
If your answer to the last question is a yes then my task is done here and if not, God help you!