Carrie Bradshaw-the poster girl for modern love-once talked of the zsa zsa zus, as she says are the “butterflies-in-your-stomach when you not only love the person, but you gotta have them!” Pop psychology? Not really.
A 2010 Stanford study went on to prove that butterflies are real. The study found that the euphoric ‘high’ of early days of love affects the brain in the same way drugs like cocaine or pain relievers do. And it seems people have found their go-to fix.
Relationship addiction is on a high, pun intended. The guiding principles are the same as any other addiction. Love addicts have a chronic and compulsive craving for romantic love to get a sense of security and self worth. They flit from relationship to relationship, or stay in an emotionally-sometimes physically-abusive relationship because they feel a need for it.
Not being in an relationship makes them jittery and restless. Psychologist Dr Rachna. K. Singh, is seeing more people under 30 with a history of 6-7 relationships. She says, ” The practice of rebounds is going up. There’s no mourning period or cool down before jumping into a new alliance.” Love addicts need admiration. Relationship counsellor Doctor Geetanjali Dharma says, ” The reason there jump ship when one relationship sinks is because there’s a need to prove that there is nothing wrong with them-they can find partners easily. ”
But not everyone who is experimenting with love is an addict. There are some who don’t get hit by the emotional baggage of multiple relationships. People with low low self esteem, family history of abuse and neglect, coming from unhappy homes, or with bad experiences in a serious relationship are more likely to get caught in this love spiral.
Each time they get into a new relationship, they say, “This one will work.” Or, in case they get back with the same abusive partner, “This it will be different.” Marriage counsellor Dr Nisha Khanna says that love addicts have a low emotional quotient. Psychologically, we talk a lot about depression, conversions on EQ need to start-she days. What required-is a look within.
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