It’s a pity how one of the most complex aspects of life; relationships, don’t come with instructions. I know many people (myself included) that could use some kind of crash course on relationships. You see, the hard thing is not finding your soul mate-although it can be rather tricky – but knowing how to sustain your relationship at a mutually satisfying, quality level.
This need not be frustrating, there are simple actions you can take in order to maximize the intimacy and understanding in your relationship, key characteristics for keeping your love alight.
Never stop asking questions
People often wrongly assume that after two or three months of dating, they know the other person inside out. This is a terrible misconception, which is often the reason why by the first-year anniversary, there is already a huge knowledge gap of one another. Put on top of that a heap of misinformation and groundless assumptions, and you’ve got yourself the perfect recipe for disaster.
You can easily remedy this, or better prevent it, if you never stop asking questions. Don’t overwhelm your other half with meaningless babble, be genuinely inquisitive about their feelings, thoughts and ideas.
Don’t ever assume you know them, people inevitably change, not necessarily by choice, but in view of the circumstances they are in. So you better be up-to-date with what is going on with their lives.
Keep an authentic interest in whatever keeps them going, but do not assume a know-it-all attitude; who is in front of you is your romantic partner, you want to make them feel at ease and secure. Try focusing on positive aspects of the future, like their goals and aspirations, and on things that are in their control.
Asking the questions is only half the action, to properly complete it you need to perform the most difficult part, which is listening.
If you step behind and watch some friends discussing you soon realize that there is this primal remnant we are left; selfishly interrupting others’ talk and stubbornly being focused on our own views.
Learning to tame this primitive urge will instantly make you a better, more caring person. Being a good, stoic listener is a rare quality, so those possessing it are always rewarded accordingly.
Carefully listen to what your partner says, try to read through their words to identify their fears and insecurities, so that you can help them restore their confidence and optimism. The amount of intimacy that will grow between you will be relative to your eagerness to be attentive.
Even if at first these two concepts of listening and asking questions, seem rather passive things to do to make your relationship grow, they are in fact extremely effective in helping your relationship realize its full potential.