A child is nothing like a new apartment, not even getting a puppy. It requires unimaginable devotion and 24/7 dedication. Can you handle an everyday situation where your needs and desires are constantly pushed aside? Because that’s what people call motherhood.
I have no hidden agenda here; my aim is to help you shape this life-altering decision. A child takes your life and turns it upside down, you literally live to support and raise another human being, the epicenter of life is no longer you. It’s a wonderful thing to do (motherhood), but it’s nonetheless life-sucking and life-changing.
If you’re still in front of your laptop monitor, not running terrified to your nearest exit, let’s discover whether motherhood is what you need.
First, you need to be honest about your needs and motives. If you want a baby (or think you do), why is that? What are your reasons for having a baby? If any motive includes boredom avoidance and boyfriend runaway prevention, think again.
Once you’re clear that you want a baby for sane, mature reasons, its time to examine your relationship with your partner. See were they’re at, their needs, fears and dreams about parenthood. If one’s not quite there yet, it’s better to wait, parenthood is about intensifying joy and romance, not killing them.
Babies these days cost a fortune. That means bypassing luxuries and activities otherwise available to you. If you think you’re not that selfish and can swap an exotic vacation for the sake of diapers, go for it girl.
Inevitably the discussion comes to these two irreconcilable foes, career and motherhood. Being a parent and especially a mother is a never-ending commitment (for at least 18 years, if you’re lucky!). Of course each mum finds the balance she believes to be a fair one between career and motherly duties. If you are just beginning to shine through, perhaps it’s not the perfect time to bring new life on earth, or is it?
Ideally a person needs to have accomplished certain dreams and materialized some desires, to be able to wholeheartedly make room for another human being. And that’s extremely hard to do; it requires maturity and a certain degree of wisdom and strength to put one’s needs aside.
Motherhood is a miracle, an act that transforms you into a vulnerable, aching individual, living and breathing for them. Motherhood is the complete absence of selfishness and continuous sacrifices. But most importantly, it’s a life-time achievement, a celebration of altruism, a lifelong dedication to nurturing and affection, a soothing act for the heart.
One little secret. You can never be too ready. Unexpected dilemmas and awkward situations will surely occur. The key is to be flexible enough to negotiate, rethink and evaluate each situation with an open mind. Don’t forget that as your baby grows, you will be growing beside it. Enjoy the ride.